We had planned a date for yesterday to celebrate our first month together. Initially, we had intended to see a movie, but we had to change plans because she had an issue with her sight. So I suggested going to a local shopping mall instead. We knew that the whether wasn’t the best (we had one summer storm after the other), but I insisted on going out anyway.
I went to her house to pick her out, with a very cloudy and thunderous sky above me. By the time we take the bus, the sky had started to pour an enormous quantity of water on us. It was so bad that we could barely see a few meters outside the bus windows, and during a few moments we just couldn’t tell where we were.
We made it to the mall eventually, but under very heavy rain. So heavy that the street was flooded, and our feet got wet when we crossed it. The rain pursued us until we entered the mall, so the first thing we did there was going to the restrooms to dry out our sockets at least a bit. The entire day we had our feet wet because of the rain.
We did a few turns in the mall, chatting as we walked. The most important topic we talked about was, again, religion. She said that she doesn’t want to convert me; that it is her mother who wants to evangelise everyone, including me apparently. She invited me again to a religious party that is going to be celebrated on Saturday. I still don’t know if I’m going.
We left the mall and went back to our city. We did one turn around, and then she said that she was hungry, so we went to a local Burger King and ate there. After that we take a bus to return home, but the bus driver said that he wouldn’t make a turn on a certain street, so we had to get off the bus there, and walk the remaining distance. The bus moved very slowly due to a massive traffic jam occasioned by the storm, which gave us time to talk and kiss.
After we got off the bus, I accompanied her to her house and then I went to mine.
Friday, 21 December 2018
Monday, 10 December 2018
Three days of her: Sunday
The sky was golden, because of the rain clouds that were slowly disappearing. I went to her house to escort her to mine. I was met by her mother and her, ready to depart. She told me that had I come some minutes later, she would have travelled by UBER, but I insisted on walk the short distance that separates our houses. We had arranged the previous day that she would come to dinner with my family, because I did the same on Friday.
Along the way, we talked about what had happened in that church. I reinstated my point, and she said that, after having it meditated, she thinks that our different ideologies can coexist. We got a bit lost, because I was so focused on what she was saying that I wasn’t paying attention to the route. Luckily, we just deviate a bit, and we found the proper way quickly. I thought that the misadventure had been successful, because we had a little more time to talk alone.
We reached my house, and I told her that she was “about to see some of our neurosis” because we had cleaned the entire house due to her visiting us. My mother had said that she would have cleaned anyway, but I had thought that her visit worked as a catalyst.
My sister and my mother received her nicely. I presented them both to her and her to them. She sat on my usual chair, but I didn’t mind. My sister started the conversation, and I tried to stay out of it as much as possible because I wanted her to know my family and vice versa. We would have time to talk later. The conversation revolved mostly about movies, series, music and education. My sister and she talked about some teacher that they both know, who is apparently very sexist. My mom asked her about some Netflix series and Andrea answered with some that both my mother and she like.
Then the food came in. As she had requested, we had pasta. Not precisely what I like the most (my sister wasn’t too happy about it either), but the dinner had no problems. With her exception, all of us finished eating pretty fast. I thought that my mother had put too much food on her plate, and that she was having trouble eating it all. But my mother said that, compared to other people, we always eat too fast.
After dinner we had dessert. Instead of the usual fruits that there were on top of the fridge, we had the ice cream that she had brought, from the same ice cream parlour that Andrea and I like so much. My mom had also prepared some dessert (as an emergency), and she put it on the table as well. I only ate the ice cream that Andrea had brought; I had no more space in my stomach for anything else.
I went to the bathroom to pee, and instinctively wash my teeth as if I were about to sleep. Next my sister went to her room, and my mother stayed in the kitchen cleaning everything up. Andrea and I went to my room to stay alone for a bit.
I asked her if she wanted to see something of my room, and she answered that she wanted to see my guitars. I played a little tune that I had learnt but I think she wasn’t impressed. She also seemed to know some chords so it was I who was impressed. We talked about religion a bit more, revisiting what we had talked about on the way to my house.
Then we kissed. A lot. I wanted to seize the moment, because it was the first time that we were completely and truly alone. I had to convince her to lie down in my bed, but I think that she liked it because her heart was pounding fast. At first I thought the she was only nervous; I didn’t realised that she was a bit, in fact, excited. I told her that I wanted to know what she thought, what she wanted to do. But she said that she wanted to leave. I didn’t get angry, but I was a bit disappointed. She then called an UBER, and left.
Along the way, we talked about what had happened in that church. I reinstated my point, and she said that, after having it meditated, she thinks that our different ideologies can coexist. We got a bit lost, because I was so focused on what she was saying that I wasn’t paying attention to the route. Luckily, we just deviate a bit, and we found the proper way quickly. I thought that the misadventure had been successful, because we had a little more time to talk alone.
We reached my house, and I told her that she was “about to see some of our neurosis” because we had cleaned the entire house due to her visiting us. My mother had said that she would have cleaned anyway, but I had thought that her visit worked as a catalyst.
My sister and my mother received her nicely. I presented them both to her and her to them. She sat on my usual chair, but I didn’t mind. My sister started the conversation, and I tried to stay out of it as much as possible because I wanted her to know my family and vice versa. We would have time to talk later. The conversation revolved mostly about movies, series, music and education. My sister and she talked about some teacher that they both know, who is apparently very sexist. My mom asked her about some Netflix series and Andrea answered with some that both my mother and she like.
Then the food came in. As she had requested, we had pasta. Not precisely what I like the most (my sister wasn’t too happy about it either), but the dinner had no problems. With her exception, all of us finished eating pretty fast. I thought that my mother had put too much food on her plate, and that she was having trouble eating it all. But my mother said that, compared to other people, we always eat too fast.
After dinner we had dessert. Instead of the usual fruits that there were on top of the fridge, we had the ice cream that she had brought, from the same ice cream parlour that Andrea and I like so much. My mom had also prepared some dessert (as an emergency), and she put it on the table as well. I only ate the ice cream that Andrea had brought; I had no more space in my stomach for anything else.
I went to the bathroom to pee, and instinctively wash my teeth as if I were about to sleep. Next my sister went to her room, and my mother stayed in the kitchen cleaning everything up. Andrea and I went to my room to stay alone for a bit.
I asked her if she wanted to see something of my room, and she answered that she wanted to see my guitars. I played a little tune that I had learnt but I think she wasn’t impressed. She also seemed to know some chords so it was I who was impressed. We talked about religion a bit more, revisiting what we had talked about on the way to my house.
Then we kissed. A lot. I wanted to seize the moment, because it was the first time that we were completely and truly alone. I had to convince her to lie down in my bed, but I think that she liked it because her heart was pounding fast. At first I thought the she was only nervous; I didn’t realised that she was a bit, in fact, excited. I told her that I wanted to know what she thought, what she wanted to do. But she said that she wanted to leave. I didn’t get angry, but I was a bit disappointed. She then called an UBER, and left.
Sunday, 9 December 2018
Three days of her: Saturday
At the evening I was invited by Andrea to assist to a meeting in her church. As far as I understand, it was actually a mass, but it was very different from what I expected. The place where it was held was a huge hall, with hundreds of white, plastic chairs and a stage at the back. On the stage there were musicians playing religious rock. I found the scene funny because the drummer was isolated in a sound-proof room, on the stage, with a microphone on top of him. Aside from the drums there were two guitars, one keyboard, one bass, one male singer and two girls who performed the chorus. The man on the front guitar also sung, sometimes.
Above the stage and below it, there were Christmas decorations (golden starts, and coloured balls). The decorative items from above casted shadows on the back of the room. The shadows were interesting because the decorations were illuminated by seven lights, so there were seven shadows for each decoration, with different angles and levels of fading. Finally, at the very back of the stage, there was a structure extruding out of the wall, decorated with light, which reminded me to a Jude menorah.
The musicians played four songs, one after the other. Basically they were prayers, but in compasses of 4/4 and with a somewhat fast tempo. They played one song, and then one singer (who was not the priest, as I first thought) said some words, and then another song, and so on. During the songs, two big screens, placed at either side of the stage displayed the songs’ lyrics, but many people seemed to know the songs from memory, as they sang with their eyes closed.
After the songs came the tithe. First they requested money for the church itself (Andrea put $20) then, as a special occasion, they requested money again, but for some charity in Peru. I distrusted it a little, because the screens shown a very crappy sideshow who anyone could have made. Andrea however, put money again (but I don’t know how much).
Next, from a room at the side of the stage, the actual priest came out. With a microphone in hand, he started talking about the nature of faith. The screens shown “Faith II”, and the priest said that he would continue the topic of the previous meeting. He explained four characteristics of faith, but I don’t remember any of them. What I do remember, however, is that he talked a lot about money. I had learnt at my teacher training course that the Protestants see material wealth and success in life as rewards for their faith, and that seemed to correlate with what the priest was saying, but in a moment he said that the spiritual (he said heavenly) reward is preferable, so I came out a bit confused.
I tried not to look at Andrea while the ceremony was taking place because I considered myself to be only an observer. As I told her afterwards, I intended to seem only a shadow. As such, I was dressed almost completely in black. However, she decided to sit down on the second row, so I was actually very noticeable.
The priest also talked about Noah and his Ark as a metaphor for constant effort toward success. He mentioned a few times a rough period of his life, why he became a priest, and about what the Devil says to make one procrastinate (though he didn’t use that word, that was what I understood). He mentioned at one point that, through faith we gain things, and that reward can even come in form of a boyfriend. I could swear that he looked at Andrea when he said that, though she didn’t notice it.
Finally, after the ceremony we head back to her bus stop. On the way there I told her what my impression of the ceremony had been (everything I’ve written so far) and that I don’t want to fight because of religion, though I reiterated that neither do I want her to try to convert me, nor I want to erode her faith. She said that she had invited me to the ceremony because of my negative view of religion. I answered that, to me, what I saw was useful to people in need, people whose lives are a mess of drugs, for example. But for anyone emotionally stable (I was referring to myself) it doesn’t work.
We then arrived at the bus stop we were heading to. There were a lot of people; some even were forming a double line. There I asked her what she wanted to do next. I left the question vague on purpose, to know what she thought. She said that, given that I’ve recently met her family it was her turn to meet mine. On the spot I asked if she wanted to dine at my house, but since it was 10 o'clock at night it was impossible for my family to organise.
The plans were postponed to the next day (today). I will write about what happened tomorrow. As for the time of this post, we cleaned and organised all the things in our house. I’m eager to see what her reaction is going to be.
Above the stage and below it, there were Christmas decorations (golden starts, and coloured balls). The decorative items from above casted shadows on the back of the room. The shadows were interesting because the decorations were illuminated by seven lights, so there were seven shadows for each decoration, with different angles and levels of fading. Finally, at the very back of the stage, there was a structure extruding out of the wall, decorated with light, which reminded me to a Jude menorah.
The musicians played four songs, one after the other. Basically they were prayers, but in compasses of 4/4 and with a somewhat fast tempo. They played one song, and then one singer (who was not the priest, as I first thought) said some words, and then another song, and so on. During the songs, two big screens, placed at either side of the stage displayed the songs’ lyrics, but many people seemed to know the songs from memory, as they sang with their eyes closed.
After the songs came the tithe. First they requested money for the church itself (Andrea put $20) then, as a special occasion, they requested money again, but for some charity in Peru. I distrusted it a little, because the screens shown a very crappy sideshow who anyone could have made. Andrea however, put money again (but I don’t know how much).
Next, from a room at the side of the stage, the actual priest came out. With a microphone in hand, he started talking about the nature of faith. The screens shown “Faith II”, and the priest said that he would continue the topic of the previous meeting. He explained four characteristics of faith, but I don’t remember any of them. What I do remember, however, is that he talked a lot about money. I had learnt at my teacher training course that the Protestants see material wealth and success in life as rewards for their faith, and that seemed to correlate with what the priest was saying, but in a moment he said that the spiritual (he said heavenly) reward is preferable, so I came out a bit confused.
I tried not to look at Andrea while the ceremony was taking place because I considered myself to be only an observer. As I told her afterwards, I intended to seem only a shadow. As such, I was dressed almost completely in black. However, she decided to sit down on the second row, so I was actually very noticeable.
The priest also talked about Noah and his Ark as a metaphor for constant effort toward success. He mentioned a few times a rough period of his life, why he became a priest, and about what the Devil says to make one procrastinate (though he didn’t use that word, that was what I understood). He mentioned at one point that, through faith we gain things, and that reward can even come in form of a boyfriend. I could swear that he looked at Andrea when he said that, though she didn’t notice it.
Finally, after the ceremony we head back to her bus stop. On the way there I told her what my impression of the ceremony had been (everything I’ve written so far) and that I don’t want to fight because of religion, though I reiterated that neither do I want her to try to convert me, nor I want to erode her faith. She said that she had invited me to the ceremony because of my negative view of religion. I answered that, to me, what I saw was useful to people in need, people whose lives are a mess of drugs, for example. But for anyone emotionally stable (I was referring to myself) it doesn’t work.
We then arrived at the bus stop we were heading to. There were a lot of people; some even were forming a double line. There I asked her what she wanted to do next. I left the question vague on purpose, to know what she thought. She said that, given that I’ve recently met her family it was her turn to meet mine. On the spot I asked if she wanted to dine at my house, but since it was 10 o'clock at night it was impossible for my family to organise.
The plans were postponed to the next day (today). I will write about what happened tomorrow. As for the time of this post, we cleaned and organised all the things in our house. I’m eager to see what her reaction is going to be.
Three days of her: Friday
On the morning we met at school again, but this time we took a different route and we had to walk a few blocks more, to avoid being seen by her students. It turned out that the students had found out our relationship, and they were, apparently, mocking her because of it. In reality, I think it was I who clued the students in, because I had told three of my students about her (including her last name) previously. While I told them to keep it secret, I guess that they then went on telling everybody else. And that’s how her students knew about it.
At night that same day, I went to her house, due to an invitation from her parents to meet me. I was instructed to arrive there sometime between 19:30 and 20:00 “when the sun is still up”. As a gift from them I had decided to bring an ice cream cake, but I had forgotten when I was gearing up and I had to rush to Lanús Station to get it and then rush back to her house. I left my house to get the ice cream at 18:40 and arrived at her house at 20:02.
The bus to her house could only drop me a few blocks away from the place, so I had to walk the remaining distance by foot. I didn’t run, but I was certainly trotting fast. I got there and called the door. She welcomed me and let me pass. One of her dogs started barking at me loudly almost immediately, and then her mother appeared, trying to calm it. I learnt then that it was female, and that her name is “Lilo” after the character of an animated movie. The mother also welcomed me and told me her name, but I don’t remember it. They guided me through the kitchen to a dining table, where they were preparing the mass for the pizza. A giant bowl, full of mass, was lying on the table.
I sat down against a wall, at one side of the table. At the other side was her father, who introduced himself as “Juan”. The man looked old (I learnt that he is like 69, or something like it), bald, thin and tall. I couldn’t asses how tall because he was sitting down, but Andrea had told me previously that she is as tall as her father so I guess that the converse is also true. Her mother is not as tall, and much wider than him. I also noticed that his skin is very clear, where her skin is much darker. Andrea’s sister was on a test, so she wasn’t there.
As I sat down, and after introducing himself, Andrea’s father started talking. Mostly about himself and his deeds (he reminded me of a friend of my father’s), in a continuous way that barely allowed me to say some monosyllabic remarks. Her mother didn’t talk as much, though. I learnt that he likes Pavarotti and that that was kind of a running gag in the family. We talked about music, politics, the history of Buenos Aires, Andrea’s father health condition and some other topics. Andrea didn’t spoke a single word; she was barely noticeable, even while she was sitting right next to me at one of the heads of the table. As far as I remember, we didn’t touch on the topic of religion at all. They also didn’t directly ask me much, but I guess that they know me already through what Andrea had told them. Because of this, I think, they were more eager to be met by me, than to meet me directly.
Some minutes after dinner, her sister arrived. She looked very different than Andrea, with long curvy hair and a stature similar to their mother. I had been told that she is studying to be an accountant, which I pronounced, alongside advocacy, extremely boring. The woman in question is much more energetic and lively than Andrea (kind of her father) and she got me into a discussion of politics and economy. On a moment I was defending my point of view against the three of them.
Gradually, as the clock moved out of midnight, the discussion drained down. Her father told me “good night” in a language that I don’t know, and I answered in Japanese, pronouncing “oyasuminasai” which only the sister understood. I already knew that she likes anime as I do, but she was surprised that I knew actual Japanese from studying it. After that both she and the mother went to bed and Andrea and I had a few minutes alone. We couldn’t kiss properly because her mother was still prowling there. I called an UBER and went back home.
At night that same day, I went to her house, due to an invitation from her parents to meet me. I was instructed to arrive there sometime between 19:30 and 20:00 “when the sun is still up”. As a gift from them I had decided to bring an ice cream cake, but I had forgotten when I was gearing up and I had to rush to Lanús Station to get it and then rush back to her house. I left my house to get the ice cream at 18:40 and arrived at her house at 20:02.
The bus to her house could only drop me a few blocks away from the place, so I had to walk the remaining distance by foot. I didn’t run, but I was certainly trotting fast. I got there and called the door. She welcomed me and let me pass. One of her dogs started barking at me loudly almost immediately, and then her mother appeared, trying to calm it. I learnt then that it was female, and that her name is “Lilo” after the character of an animated movie. The mother also welcomed me and told me her name, but I don’t remember it. They guided me through the kitchen to a dining table, where they were preparing the mass for the pizza. A giant bowl, full of mass, was lying on the table.
I sat down against a wall, at one side of the table. At the other side was her father, who introduced himself as “Juan”. The man looked old (I learnt that he is like 69, or something like it), bald, thin and tall. I couldn’t asses how tall because he was sitting down, but Andrea had told me previously that she is as tall as her father so I guess that the converse is also true. Her mother is not as tall, and much wider than him. I also noticed that his skin is very clear, where her skin is much darker. Andrea’s sister was on a test, so she wasn’t there.
As I sat down, and after introducing himself, Andrea’s father started talking. Mostly about himself and his deeds (he reminded me of a friend of my father’s), in a continuous way that barely allowed me to say some monosyllabic remarks. Her mother didn’t talk as much, though. I learnt that he likes Pavarotti and that that was kind of a running gag in the family. We talked about music, politics, the history of Buenos Aires, Andrea’s father health condition and some other topics. Andrea didn’t spoke a single word; she was barely noticeable, even while she was sitting right next to me at one of the heads of the table. As far as I remember, we didn’t touch on the topic of religion at all. They also didn’t directly ask me much, but I guess that they know me already through what Andrea had told them. Because of this, I think, they were more eager to be met by me, than to meet me directly.
Some minutes after dinner, her sister arrived. She looked very different than Andrea, with long curvy hair and a stature similar to their mother. I had been told that she is studying to be an accountant, which I pronounced, alongside advocacy, extremely boring. The woman in question is much more energetic and lively than Andrea (kind of her father) and she got me into a discussion of politics and economy. On a moment I was defending my point of view against the three of them.
Gradually, as the clock moved out of midnight, the discussion drained down. Her father told me “good night” in a language that I don’t know, and I answered in Japanese, pronouncing “oyasuminasai” which only the sister understood. I already knew that she likes anime as I do, but she was surprised that I knew actual Japanese from studying it. After that both she and the mother went to bed and Andrea and I had a few minutes alone. We couldn’t kiss properly because her mother was still prowling there. I called an UBER and went back home.
Monday, 3 December 2018
Confessions
We had three "dates" in the past weekend. The first was not really a date: as always, we met outside the school we work in and we returned home by bus.
The next day (on Saturday) we went to a party that a friend and I were planning for months. That night was cold, and I at least didn't enjoyed the party much. Very few people assisted, and the place felt like it was abandoned. While the bands that played weren't bad, they weren't good either, at least for my taste. I guess that she didn't enjoyed them either, because I know that those aren't her music type. To get back home, she called an UBER drive. As we needed to see it we waited for it outside. Both she and me were shaking because the temperature had dropped too much. The whole night we were fully dressed; it was impossible to take out our coats.
For the next day (yesterday) we had plans to walk through a city called Adrogué, which is very nice, quiet and picturesque. But since we had only had a few hours of sleep, we decided to stay where we were. We went to a nearby velodrome instead. We found a place to sit down to talk, I spread out my diver on the grass and she sat on it. I tried to sit down too, but I could not find a comfortable position. The area was too crowed for me and I felt I could not kiss her without someone stepping on us.
There she made me a confession. With difficulty, she said that she has Anxiety and that she was afraid to tell me about it because she thought that I would judge her. To the contrary, I said, there was no problem. I told her that I had problems too (mostly physical) and about the time I was depressed.
We also talk about her church. She wants me to go there to see my reactions, apparently.
We decided to leave the velodrome due to the people, and we walked to a square where we found fewer people. We sat down on a stone bench and chatted while watching a pair of siblings playing with their father. When the sun was coming down, we started returning home, but we did it by walking.
At one point we had to detour to avoid some of his relatives. She said she wants her parents to meet me first. After that we met an old teacher of mine, Miss. Vedani. She was happy to see us and when Andrea told her that she was a math teacher, Miss Vedani hugged her because she is also a math teacher. We continue walking until we reach the corner of her street.
There we kissed each other. A lot. We kissed so much that people passing by yelled us "there is love!" twice, breaking the mood completely. We only laughed and took separate ways.
When I got home, I send her a message, telling her that, somehow some of her scent had impregnated my clothes and/or my nose, and I could still smell her. It was beautiful.
For the first time since we started dating we didn't come up with plans for next week. She wants me to visit her church, but there are also free tickets to the movies, apparently. Only time will tell.
The next day (on Saturday) we went to a party that a friend and I were planning for months. That night was cold, and I at least didn't enjoyed the party much. Very few people assisted, and the place felt like it was abandoned. While the bands that played weren't bad, they weren't good either, at least for my taste. I guess that she didn't enjoyed them either, because I know that those aren't her music type. To get back home, she called an UBER drive. As we needed to see it we waited for it outside. Both she and me were shaking because the temperature had dropped too much. The whole night we were fully dressed; it was impossible to take out our coats.
For the next day (yesterday) we had plans to walk through a city called Adrogué, which is very nice, quiet and picturesque. But since we had only had a few hours of sleep, we decided to stay where we were. We went to a nearby velodrome instead. We found a place to sit down to talk, I spread out my diver on the grass and she sat on it. I tried to sit down too, but I could not find a comfortable position. The area was too crowed for me and I felt I could not kiss her without someone stepping on us.
There she made me a confession. With difficulty, she said that she has Anxiety and that she was afraid to tell me about it because she thought that I would judge her. To the contrary, I said, there was no problem. I told her that I had problems too (mostly physical) and about the time I was depressed.
We also talk about her church. She wants me to go there to see my reactions, apparently.
We decided to leave the velodrome due to the people, and we walked to a square where we found fewer people. We sat down on a stone bench and chatted while watching a pair of siblings playing with their father. When the sun was coming down, we started returning home, but we did it by walking.
At one point we had to detour to avoid some of his relatives. She said she wants her parents to meet me first. After that we met an old teacher of mine, Miss. Vedani. She was happy to see us and when Andrea told her that she was a math teacher, Miss Vedani hugged her because she is also a math teacher. We continue walking until we reach the corner of her street.
There we kissed each other. A lot. We kissed so much that people passing by yelled us "there is love!" twice, breaking the mood completely. We only laughed and took separate ways.
When I got home, I send her a message, telling her that, somehow some of her scent had impregnated my clothes and/or my nose, and I could still smell her. It was beautiful.
For the first time since we started dating we didn't come up with plans for next week. She wants me to visit her church, but there are also free tickets to the movies, apparently. Only time will tell.
Sunday, 25 November 2018
Our second date: Chinatown
We have our second date today. In absolute terms, the date itself was just "fine". We went to our local Chinatown, but we found the area in a deplorable state. Prices were high, and quality was low. We made one round trip across the entire place (it is only four blocks) and she purchased a few items. Then we went to have lunch at a local Burger King. The entire trip was was kind of disappointing; For the most part, I only enjoyed her company.
The most important thing about this date was the conversation we had while eating at Burger King. One point we talked about was religion and sexuality. I asked her if she was willing to have sex before marriage, and she replied (to my surprise) that she doesn't want to have children before marriage. I repeated my question, and she answered that, even that it is sinful, she is willing to do it. I confessed to her that I have "plans for that", a step by step sequence of events that have to take place before the first penetration. Also, she confessed to be (as I expected) still virgin.
The other point was about our future as a couple. We both agreed that it is kind of controversial, and she told me that her leader (the head of her religious group) would be scandalised if she knew. She said that, eventually, she will tell her, before someone else spread the rumour. I explained that I had a solution to the problem of marriage: just avoid it. If, I continued, we only perform a civil marriage (but not the religious one), it would be no problem. I also told her that if she would want me to convert to her faith in order to get married. I said that it would be hypocritical, because even if I performed all the rites (like being baptised again) I wouldn't believe any of it, and I, rhetorically, asked if she would want that. She obviously said no, but no very firmly.
The journey back home was kind of dangerous, because of a very controversial football match that supposedly, it was about to take place. We had to take another, longer route to avoid the fanatics. However, that longer route gave us more time to be together, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The most important thing about this date was the conversation we had while eating at Burger King. One point we talked about was religion and sexuality. I asked her if she was willing to have sex before marriage, and she replied (to my surprise) that she doesn't want to have children before marriage. I repeated my question, and she answered that, even that it is sinful, she is willing to do it. I confessed to her that I have "plans for that", a step by step sequence of events that have to take place before the first penetration. Also, she confessed to be (as I expected) still virgin.
The other point was about our future as a couple. We both agreed that it is kind of controversial, and she told me that her leader (the head of her religious group) would be scandalised if she knew. She said that, eventually, she will tell her, before someone else spread the rumour. I explained that I had a solution to the problem of marriage: just avoid it. If, I continued, we only perform a civil marriage (but not the religious one), it would be no problem. I also told her that if she would want me to convert to her faith in order to get married. I said that it would be hypocritical, because even if I performed all the rites (like being baptised again) I wouldn't believe any of it, and I, rhetorically, asked if she would want that. She obviously said no, but no very firmly.
The journey back home was kind of dangerous, because of a very controversial football match that supposedly, it was about to take place. We had to take another, longer route to avoid the fanatics. However, that longer route gave us more time to be together, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Tuesday, 20 November 2018
Our First Date: Three Kisses, and Ice Creams
As promised, we had our first date yesterday. It was, in terms of dating standards, a pretty lousy date but given that we don't know each other very well, planning something more elaborated was impossible.
I left out my house at 15:00 o'clock, and walked towards the station as I usually do. I stopped in a kiosk to buy something to drink. Because I arrived early, I stopped there to chat with the woman in charge of the kiosk. We talked mostly about politics and immigration. Then I went back to a gas station nearby, because I needed to pee. After that, I headed to the ice cream parlour where I found her waiting for me.
We ordered our ice creams (I paid for both of them) and sat on a somewhat quiet table at the back of the parlour. I felt a bit uncomfortable, and I think she was uncomfortable as well. I think I was the first to talk, and one of the first things I asked was "why are you here?". I thought she would answer "I want to save your soul" or something like it (I was prepared to fight a christian) but, to my surprise, she answered "because I like you".
I was, for a moment, speechless. Though I had thought that she accepted my offer to have an ice cream because she felt something for me, I never suspected such an straightforward answer.
The rest of the conversation from there was pretty awkward. I felt it like a job interview. We talked about what we find attractive about the other, what we want from a partner (we said the same at this point, "to get married and have children"), her religion and my atheism, our families, and other things. She confessed that she had never been kissed (and, though she didn't say it, I bet she is a virgin) and that, in fact, she never had a boyfriend. She told me (again) that she had rejected every guy that approached her, and that the few guys that she actually liked, never pay her any attention.
On one moment, she asked me what was the most "altruistic thing" that I had done. I didn't know what to answer, because I thought that "altruistic" meant "sacrificed", and that I never felt like sacrificed anything for another person. I answered that, in general, I help and give a hand whenever I can, but that, if I don't, it's because I didn't noticed it.
I finished my ice cream, but she didn't. I told her that I was devouring it because I was nervous. That wasn't completely true, though I didn't felt in control of the situation either. We talked some more after the ice creams were finished, and we left the parlour. We decided to walk a few blocks, just to keep chatting. And we did, for about 10 blocks. Then I noticed that the sun was going down, and remembered that she had told me that she wanted to get back during the day. So, we turn back.
And there, unceremoniously, I kissed her. I think that was the action that defined the date as "lousy", because it was a very weird kiss. As she never had been kissed in her life, she didn't know what to do, and she just closed her mouth and eyes. It was just a moment, less than 2 seconds, but after that she find it very difficult to talk. I bet that her heart was racing; mine wasn't. On the way back I explained her the basics of a kiss, and I told her to investigate the french kiss "for next".
We returned to the station and headed to where her bus stops. There was a row of people waiting for it and we join the row at the end. Soon, more people were behind us. I kissed her some more and again, she could say much. Then the row started to move and I, knowing that we would separate briefly, asked her if she "wanted another one". She tilted her head on a doubtful "yes" and we kiss for a third time.
Those were her first three kisses. She told me that the date was "tender". We agreed on a second date on Chinatown next week. Again, I expect more talking, and kisses. I want to go very slowly with this girl, because, if I'm correct, she is way too virgin.
I left out my house at 15:00 o'clock, and walked towards the station as I usually do. I stopped in a kiosk to buy something to drink. Because I arrived early, I stopped there to chat with the woman in charge of the kiosk. We talked mostly about politics and immigration. Then I went back to a gas station nearby, because I needed to pee. After that, I headed to the ice cream parlour where I found her waiting for me.
We ordered our ice creams (I paid for both of them) and sat on a somewhat quiet table at the back of the parlour. I felt a bit uncomfortable, and I think she was uncomfortable as well. I think I was the first to talk, and one of the first things I asked was "why are you here?". I thought she would answer "I want to save your soul" or something like it (I was prepared to fight a christian) but, to my surprise, she answered "because I like you".
I was, for a moment, speechless. Though I had thought that she accepted my offer to have an ice cream because she felt something for me, I never suspected such an straightforward answer.
The rest of the conversation from there was pretty awkward. I felt it like a job interview. We talked about what we find attractive about the other, what we want from a partner (we said the same at this point, "to get married and have children"), her religion and my atheism, our families, and other things. She confessed that she had never been kissed (and, though she didn't say it, I bet she is a virgin) and that, in fact, she never had a boyfriend. She told me (again) that she had rejected every guy that approached her, and that the few guys that she actually liked, never pay her any attention.
On one moment, she asked me what was the most "altruistic thing" that I had done. I didn't know what to answer, because I thought that "altruistic" meant "sacrificed", and that I never felt like sacrificed anything for another person. I answered that, in general, I help and give a hand whenever I can, but that, if I don't, it's because I didn't noticed it.
I finished my ice cream, but she didn't. I told her that I was devouring it because I was nervous. That wasn't completely true, though I didn't felt in control of the situation either. We talked some more after the ice creams were finished, and we left the parlour. We decided to walk a few blocks, just to keep chatting. And we did, for about 10 blocks. Then I noticed that the sun was going down, and remembered that she had told me that she wanted to get back during the day. So, we turn back.
And there, unceremoniously, I kissed her. I think that was the action that defined the date as "lousy", because it was a very weird kiss. As she never had been kissed in her life, she didn't know what to do, and she just closed her mouth and eyes. It was just a moment, less than 2 seconds, but after that she find it very difficult to talk. I bet that her heart was racing; mine wasn't. On the way back I explained her the basics of a kiss, and I told her to investigate the french kiss "for next".
We returned to the station and headed to where her bus stops. There was a row of people waiting for it and we join the row at the end. Soon, more people were behind us. I kissed her some more and again, she could say much. Then the row started to move and I, knowing that we would separate briefly, asked her if she "wanted another one". She tilted her head on a doubtful "yes" and we kiss for a third time.
Those were her first three kisses. She told me that the date was "tender". We agreed on a second date on Chinatown next week. Again, I expect more talking, and kisses. I want to go very slowly with this girl, because, if I'm correct, she is way too virgin.
Sunday, 18 November 2018
On dating a Christian
I was a Christian when I was a kid and during my early teenage years, baptised and educated in a catholic school. But, as many of my classmates noted, our school actually produced atheists. And I resulted to be one of them. After a bunch of years of not knowing what to do, I became a teacher of the English language and, while working, I met Andrea: a blonde, tall and shy Evangelistic Christian woman, who claims that she chose her religion when she was 18 years old.
I’ve never met someone with such a background, and she picked my interest immediately. We chatted on two occasions while travelling back home on bus after work, and I asked her out on the second ride. To my surprise, she accepted. I then asked for her cellular number, and she gave it to me, no problem. I honestly wasn’t prepared for that openness, as I am used to be rejected, but it seems that this is not the case.
As I am unfamiliar with her religion and background, I did some research. I learnt that Christian women (no matter the denomination, it seems) have to date with the prospect of get married. And they are, apparently, strongly advised to not date a non-Christian, let alone an atheist. While I’m not opposed to the idea of marriage in the secular sense (I want to marry and have kids, eventually), I have serious doubts that she is thinking of me that way. And I have absolutely no idea if she is the one, either. I also reflected a bit in her case and concluded that she did not chose to be religious; she merely chose how to profess her faith. Moreover, I speculate that she didn’t choose between religions, but between Christian denominations.
We have our first date tomorrow. I asked her to a very good ice cream parlour that I know. I honestly don’t know if she considers it a date. I certainly do. My objective for this first date is just to converse a little more, to know her better. We already chatted a bit via Whatsapp since we shared our cell phone numbers. I don’t think she would try to convert me, because I made clear (I think) to her that I’m an atheist. I just don’t have faith, for any god. And I wouldn’t try to change her mind, either.
I’ve never met someone with such a background, and she picked my interest immediately. We chatted on two occasions while travelling back home on bus after work, and I asked her out on the second ride. To my surprise, she accepted. I then asked for her cellular number, and she gave it to me, no problem. I honestly wasn’t prepared for that openness, as I am used to be rejected, but it seems that this is not the case.
As I am unfamiliar with her religion and background, I did some research. I learnt that Christian women (no matter the denomination, it seems) have to date with the prospect of get married. And they are, apparently, strongly advised to not date a non-Christian, let alone an atheist. While I’m not opposed to the idea of marriage in the secular sense (I want to marry and have kids, eventually), I have serious doubts that she is thinking of me that way. And I have absolutely no idea if she is the one, either. I also reflected a bit in her case and concluded that she did not chose to be religious; she merely chose how to profess her faith. Moreover, I speculate that she didn’t choose between religions, but between Christian denominations.
We have our first date tomorrow. I asked her to a very good ice cream parlour that I know. I honestly don’t know if she considers it a date. I certainly do. My objective for this first date is just to converse a little more, to know her better. We already chatted a bit via Whatsapp since we shared our cell phone numbers. I don’t think she would try to convert me, because I made clear (I think) to her that I’m an atheist. I just don’t have faith, for any god. And I wouldn’t try to change her mind, either.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)