We have our second date today. In absolute terms, the date itself was just "fine". We went to our local Chinatown, but we found the area in a deplorable state. Prices were high, and quality was low. We made one round trip across the entire place (it is only four blocks) and she purchased a few items. Then we went to have lunch at a local Burger King. The entire trip was was kind of disappointing; For the most part, I only enjoyed her company.
The most important thing about this date was the conversation we had while eating at Burger King. One point we talked about was religion and sexuality. I asked her if she was willing to have sex before marriage, and she replied (to my surprise) that she doesn't want to have children before marriage. I repeated my question, and she answered that, even that it is sinful, she is willing to do it. I confessed to her that I have "plans for that", a step by step sequence of events that have to take place before the first penetration. Also, she confessed to be (as I expected) still virgin.
The other point was about our future as a couple. We both agreed that it is kind of controversial, and she told me that her leader (the head of her religious group) would be scandalised if she knew. She said that, eventually, she will tell her, before someone else spread the rumour. I explained that I had a solution to the problem of marriage: just avoid it. If, I continued, we only perform a civil marriage (but not the religious one), it would be no problem. I also told her that if she would want me to convert to her faith in order to get married. I said that it would be hypocritical, because even if I performed all the rites (like being baptised again) I wouldn't believe any of it, and I, rhetorically, asked if she would want that. She obviously said no, but no very firmly.
The journey back home was kind of dangerous, because of a very controversial football match that supposedly, it was about to take place. We had to take another, longer route to avoid the fanatics. However, that longer route gave us more time to be together, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Sunday, 25 November 2018
Tuesday, 20 November 2018
Our First Date: Three Kisses, and Ice Creams
As promised, we had our first date yesterday. It was, in terms of dating standards, a pretty lousy date but given that we don't know each other very well, planning something more elaborated was impossible.
I left out my house at 15:00 o'clock, and walked towards the station as I usually do. I stopped in a kiosk to buy something to drink. Because I arrived early, I stopped there to chat with the woman in charge of the kiosk. We talked mostly about politics and immigration. Then I went back to a gas station nearby, because I needed to pee. After that, I headed to the ice cream parlour where I found her waiting for me.
We ordered our ice creams (I paid for both of them) and sat on a somewhat quiet table at the back of the parlour. I felt a bit uncomfortable, and I think she was uncomfortable as well. I think I was the first to talk, and one of the first things I asked was "why are you here?". I thought she would answer "I want to save your soul" or something like it (I was prepared to fight a christian) but, to my surprise, she answered "because I like you".
I was, for a moment, speechless. Though I had thought that she accepted my offer to have an ice cream because she felt something for me, I never suspected such an straightforward answer.
The rest of the conversation from there was pretty awkward. I felt it like a job interview. We talked about what we find attractive about the other, what we want from a partner (we said the same at this point, "to get married and have children"), her religion and my atheism, our families, and other things. She confessed that she had never been kissed (and, though she didn't say it, I bet she is a virgin) and that, in fact, she never had a boyfriend. She told me (again) that she had rejected every guy that approached her, and that the few guys that she actually liked, never pay her any attention.
On one moment, she asked me what was the most "altruistic thing" that I had done. I didn't know what to answer, because I thought that "altruistic" meant "sacrificed", and that I never felt like sacrificed anything for another person. I answered that, in general, I help and give a hand whenever I can, but that, if I don't, it's because I didn't noticed it.
I finished my ice cream, but she didn't. I told her that I was devouring it because I was nervous. That wasn't completely true, though I didn't felt in control of the situation either. We talked some more after the ice creams were finished, and we left the parlour. We decided to walk a few blocks, just to keep chatting. And we did, for about 10 blocks. Then I noticed that the sun was going down, and remembered that she had told me that she wanted to get back during the day. So, we turn back.
And there, unceremoniously, I kissed her. I think that was the action that defined the date as "lousy", because it was a very weird kiss. As she never had been kissed in her life, she didn't know what to do, and she just closed her mouth and eyes. It was just a moment, less than 2 seconds, but after that she find it very difficult to talk. I bet that her heart was racing; mine wasn't. On the way back I explained her the basics of a kiss, and I told her to investigate the french kiss "for next".
We returned to the station and headed to where her bus stops. There was a row of people waiting for it and we join the row at the end. Soon, more people were behind us. I kissed her some more and again, she could say much. Then the row started to move and I, knowing that we would separate briefly, asked her if she "wanted another one". She tilted her head on a doubtful "yes" and we kiss for a third time.
Those were her first three kisses. She told me that the date was "tender". We agreed on a second date on Chinatown next week. Again, I expect more talking, and kisses. I want to go very slowly with this girl, because, if I'm correct, she is way too virgin.
I left out my house at 15:00 o'clock, and walked towards the station as I usually do. I stopped in a kiosk to buy something to drink. Because I arrived early, I stopped there to chat with the woman in charge of the kiosk. We talked mostly about politics and immigration. Then I went back to a gas station nearby, because I needed to pee. After that, I headed to the ice cream parlour where I found her waiting for me.
We ordered our ice creams (I paid for both of them) and sat on a somewhat quiet table at the back of the parlour. I felt a bit uncomfortable, and I think she was uncomfortable as well. I think I was the first to talk, and one of the first things I asked was "why are you here?". I thought she would answer "I want to save your soul" or something like it (I was prepared to fight a christian) but, to my surprise, she answered "because I like you".
I was, for a moment, speechless. Though I had thought that she accepted my offer to have an ice cream because she felt something for me, I never suspected such an straightforward answer.
The rest of the conversation from there was pretty awkward. I felt it like a job interview. We talked about what we find attractive about the other, what we want from a partner (we said the same at this point, "to get married and have children"), her religion and my atheism, our families, and other things. She confessed that she had never been kissed (and, though she didn't say it, I bet she is a virgin) and that, in fact, she never had a boyfriend. She told me (again) that she had rejected every guy that approached her, and that the few guys that she actually liked, never pay her any attention.
On one moment, she asked me what was the most "altruistic thing" that I had done. I didn't know what to answer, because I thought that "altruistic" meant "sacrificed", and that I never felt like sacrificed anything for another person. I answered that, in general, I help and give a hand whenever I can, but that, if I don't, it's because I didn't noticed it.
I finished my ice cream, but she didn't. I told her that I was devouring it because I was nervous. That wasn't completely true, though I didn't felt in control of the situation either. We talked some more after the ice creams were finished, and we left the parlour. We decided to walk a few blocks, just to keep chatting. And we did, for about 10 blocks. Then I noticed that the sun was going down, and remembered that she had told me that she wanted to get back during the day. So, we turn back.
And there, unceremoniously, I kissed her. I think that was the action that defined the date as "lousy", because it was a very weird kiss. As she never had been kissed in her life, she didn't know what to do, and she just closed her mouth and eyes. It was just a moment, less than 2 seconds, but after that she find it very difficult to talk. I bet that her heart was racing; mine wasn't. On the way back I explained her the basics of a kiss, and I told her to investigate the french kiss "for next".
We returned to the station and headed to where her bus stops. There was a row of people waiting for it and we join the row at the end. Soon, more people were behind us. I kissed her some more and again, she could say much. Then the row started to move and I, knowing that we would separate briefly, asked her if she "wanted another one". She tilted her head on a doubtful "yes" and we kiss for a third time.
Those were her first three kisses. She told me that the date was "tender". We agreed on a second date on Chinatown next week. Again, I expect more talking, and kisses. I want to go very slowly with this girl, because, if I'm correct, she is way too virgin.
Sunday, 18 November 2018
On dating a Christian
I was a Christian when I was a kid and during my early teenage years, baptised and educated in a catholic school. But, as many of my classmates noted, our school actually produced atheists. And I resulted to be one of them. After a bunch of years of not knowing what to do, I became a teacher of the English language and, while working, I met Andrea: a blonde, tall and shy Evangelistic Christian woman, who claims that she chose her religion when she was 18 years old.
I’ve never met someone with such a background, and she picked my interest immediately. We chatted on two occasions while travelling back home on bus after work, and I asked her out on the second ride. To my surprise, she accepted. I then asked for her cellular number, and she gave it to me, no problem. I honestly wasn’t prepared for that openness, as I am used to be rejected, but it seems that this is not the case.
As I am unfamiliar with her religion and background, I did some research. I learnt that Christian women (no matter the denomination, it seems) have to date with the prospect of get married. And they are, apparently, strongly advised to not date a non-Christian, let alone an atheist. While I’m not opposed to the idea of marriage in the secular sense (I want to marry and have kids, eventually), I have serious doubts that she is thinking of me that way. And I have absolutely no idea if she is the one, either. I also reflected a bit in her case and concluded that she did not chose to be religious; she merely chose how to profess her faith. Moreover, I speculate that she didn’t choose between religions, but between Christian denominations.
We have our first date tomorrow. I asked her to a very good ice cream parlour that I know. I honestly don’t know if she considers it a date. I certainly do. My objective for this first date is just to converse a little more, to know her better. We already chatted a bit via Whatsapp since we shared our cell phone numbers. I don’t think she would try to convert me, because I made clear (I think) to her that I’m an atheist. I just don’t have faith, for any god. And I wouldn’t try to change her mind, either.
I’ve never met someone with such a background, and she picked my interest immediately. We chatted on two occasions while travelling back home on bus after work, and I asked her out on the second ride. To my surprise, she accepted. I then asked for her cellular number, and she gave it to me, no problem. I honestly wasn’t prepared for that openness, as I am used to be rejected, but it seems that this is not the case.
As I am unfamiliar with her religion and background, I did some research. I learnt that Christian women (no matter the denomination, it seems) have to date with the prospect of get married. And they are, apparently, strongly advised to not date a non-Christian, let alone an atheist. While I’m not opposed to the idea of marriage in the secular sense (I want to marry and have kids, eventually), I have serious doubts that she is thinking of me that way. And I have absolutely no idea if she is the one, either. I also reflected a bit in her case and concluded that she did not chose to be religious; she merely chose how to profess her faith. Moreover, I speculate that she didn’t choose between religions, but between Christian denominations.
We have our first date tomorrow. I asked her to a very good ice cream parlour that I know. I honestly don’t know if she considers it a date. I certainly do. My objective for this first date is just to converse a little more, to know her better. We already chatted a bit via Whatsapp since we shared our cell phone numbers. I don’t think she would try to convert me, because I made clear (I think) to her that I’m an atheist. I just don’t have faith, for any god. And I wouldn’t try to change her mind, either.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)